What's going on here? See Part 1 for rationale.
This is Part 2: Iowa through Pennsylvania.
Part 3 should wrap things up. It will be out later.
I've actually been to the Legacy Village store (pictured) with Thatcher. Thatcher seems to be going abroad for a while, so he will have to look elsewhere for Apple Stores. It is our hope that Thatcher will send colour photos of Apple Stores and any other interesting retail outlets (or organs, or ecclesiastical things) on which his eyes might rest whilst upon his journey.
1. We're not in Kansas any more at all.
2. A lot of the Apple Stores so far have had creative names, or at least yuppie names. "Fashion" is popular as in "Chandler Fashion Center (AZ), "Fashion Island" (CA) and "Fashion Valley" (CA). "Gardens" also seems to pop up from time to time like "Victoria Gardens" (CA) and "Gardens Mall" (FL). Here, in Maryland, things are simpler. Annapolis Mall is on a street called Annapolis Mall in Annapolis. How Annapolisy.
3. In the Mall of America!
4. Josquin bought his iPod here.
5. A store called "Fashion Show"
6. A store called "Walt Whitman." How would Walt Whitman feel about having an Apple store named after him? Apples are something Whitman seemed to enjoy.
After writing he would pull an apple out of his coat pocket and pull out a knife from his pants pocket." Willets recalled that the knife was an unusual one - handmade, with a large blade and a black wooden casing within which was a four-pronged detachable steel fork. "There is no question but what Walt had the knife made to order for the special purpose of preparing and eating wild fruit with it," suggested the editor of the Long-Islander.
7. This is probably the most distinctive looking Apple Store. Well, so far, anyway. And it's in SoHo, which, for the uninitiated (like me) is a neighborhood south of Houston Street. Houston in this context is pronounced (HOUSE-ton) not because New Yorker's are pretentious (like me) but because the named the street after the politician William Houstoun but they didn't spell it right (like I did).
8. Is that like Nyack the hymn tune?
9. Probably the most non-distinctive looking temple.
10. The birthplace of Joseph Smith
11. Isn't SouthPark in Colorado? These American names are starting to get really boring. We're like the richest country in the world. Can't we be more creative than this?
12. Southpoint? I fail to see how that's different from SouthPark. (Durham? I fail to see how that's different from Charlotte.)
13. Hey, snow! Where you at, Minnesota?
14. So Columbus discovered Native Americans but was hoping for India. Then Jesus discovers Native Americans. Who was he hoping for, Columbus?
15. You might wonder why Apple needs two stores in Tigard, Oregon. You probably are expecting me to tell you why a town with 41,223 needs two, but I can't come up with anything.
16. No, I'm not making that name up. Named for a local tavern in the 1700's it should really be Upper Merion Township. But let's face it, neither of these are good names.
18. You're probably wondering what happened to footnote 17. Frankly, I'm not missing it very much.
If Apple is like a religion then the trendy Apple Stores are its temples. The Apple Stores don't really count as cathedrals, because there are some "dioceses" of Mac users who do not have a Store nearby.
In my mind, Apple Stores are comporable to Mormon temples. Both are finely crafted from the best materials. Both are well lit. Both are designed in keeping with their brand identity. Both are closed on Sundays.
Oh, wait. Apple Stores are actually open on Sundays.
So, here's a table comparing Apple Stores and Mormon temples alphabetically by state. This list, Part 1, contains Alabama through Indiana.
1. This ranks up there with "Surprise" for bad city names in Arizona.
2. The Cohen family shops here.
3. Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day, I'm like, "Oh yeah! Rancho Cucamonga!" and then things start to get better.
4. Stonestown could use a little help. That is one pathetic looking mall plant.
5. This is where Ryan Atwood's secret Mormon half-brother worships. Also it seems to have been rededicated the same day it was dedicated (28 Aug 2005). This is odd.
6. Where Charles Ives bought his iPod.
7. What's up with Florida having all these New Zealand city names? They have Dunedin too, which is, incidentally, one of my favorite hymn tunes.
8. Hot picture of this one.
9. Not a whole lotta grass in Chi-town. That's why they put it on the roof.
10. Nauvoo. It's like Naboo for the Mormons.
11. I've actually been to this one.
Ahoy there, ye swarthy Protestants!
Recently I was faced with a tough decision between two churches at which to play the organ. Really it wasn't so much of a decision as a concession to the lesser of two evils since both churches were of the Lutheran persuasion.
I am not really sure why I don't like Lutherans or, more accurately, why they don't like me but I am sure it has something to do with Mormons.
I mean, Bach was Lutheran, but that's really more intimidating than it is an incentive. If Catholics pray to Mary, then certainly it wouldn't be unheard of for Lutherans to pray to Bach, at least, in theory (terribly awful musical pun intended).
How should a recently confirmed Episcopalian be received by Lutherans, anyway? I know we have a "concordant," whatever that means, but part of me is worried that one of King Henry VIII's wives was Lutheran, or at least she liked Jello-salad.
World history has shown me that our fears exist out of ignorance. So, in a blitzkrieg effort of Lutheranization, the two pastors at the church where I now work have put me on a steady diet of worms.
They have also demanded that I translate the Book of Mormon into German. I had just started the first few chapters (I made significant progress after learning how to translate "behold" and "it shall come to pass") when I saw an apparition that looked like Joseph Smith. He was mocking Lutherans so I threw an ink bottle at him. He threw it back and it got all over the computer monitor. At this point, I wondered why I even had a bottle of ink since I had chosen to type Das Buch der letzten Tagesheiliger on the computer. And then it hit me:
Isn't that what Lutheranism is all about?
Labels: Mormonism
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